Hi, it’s Mark Joseph again. It’s good to be back. Today, we’re going to talk a little bit about children, a topic that’s extremely close to my heart because I love, love kids.
Once, I paid a visit to a school and was talking about the benefits of mindfulness and stress reduction—mainly for the teachers, but also for the kids. I asked the teachers, “Would it be possible if, just before class, before you get into it with the children, you do three deep breaths with them? That’s all. Just breathing in and breathing out—three times.”
Surprisingly, some of the answers I got from the teachers were that the children were too busy to stop and breathe. I was a bit concerned because it sounded like we’re raising a nation of anxious, always-on-the-go kids. If we just slowed things down, even for a little bit, it could make a world of difference.
As I was contemplating this, the drama teacher tapped me on the shoulder and said, “I always do breathing exercises with my kids, and they are so well-behaved in my class.” It was quite funny listening to the other teachers complain about how naughty the kids were in their classes. I thought to myself, maybe if they just did three breaths at the beginning of class, the kids would settle down, feel better, and their nervous systems would be regulated.
So, a little bit of food for thought.
Speaking of food, I have a yummy marshmallow. Have you heard of the marshmallow test? It was conducted by Stanford University in the 1960s. The test went like this: They placed one marshmallow on a plate in front of a six-year-old child—many kids were tested this way—and told them, “If you wait 12 minutes without eating this marshmallow, I will bring you another one.” Then, the researcher left the room, leaving the child alone with the marshmallow.
They filmed the kids, and the reactions were quite funny—some squished the marshmallow against their noses, some nibbled at it, and some just couldn’t resist, popping it into their mouths immediately. But some kids did wait for the second marshmallow.
When the researcher returned and saw the marshmallow still there, they placed another one on the plate, and those kids got to eat both at the same time.
The interesting part is that they tracked these children over 30 years—one of the longest case studies ever done. They found that the kids who couldn’t wait for the second marshmallow tended to have more problems in life. They struggled with delayed gratification, had higher addiction rates, didn’t perform well in school, and had difficulties in relationships and careers.
On the other hand, the kids who waited for the second marshmallow had much better lives—good grades, happy family lives, fulfilling jobs. They had learned self-control.
So what does this tell us? It’s a mix of nature and nurture. But the good news is that kids who struggle with delayed gratification can learn mindful techniques for self-control. If they practice deep breathing and self-awareness, they can change. And it starts with us—as adults—because kids watch every move we make.
We can teach them self-discipline, self-management, and mindfulness. When we take a breath, everything becomes crystal clear—it’s like HD resolution for the mind.
Remember this jar? When it’s still, it’s clear, right? But if you’re always busy, busy, busy—never stopping to take a breath—it becomes a mess, just like this jar filled with swirling chaos. That’s how kids feel too.
But if we take just a small breath break, everything settles down—our thoughts, emotions, and feelings. Just like this jar, we gain clarity.
I can see clearly now, the rain has gone.
I’m going to eat this marshmallow right now. Bye.